February is full of talk about love.
Romantic love. Friendship love. Big Valentine’s gestures.
But there’s one kind of love we don’t talk about enough.
Especially as people with periods:
Self-love.
The kind that looks like care, softness, and respect for your body… even when it’s messy, painful, or inconvenient.
Because for so many of us, menstruation isn’t just physical.
It comes with something heavier: Shame.
And whether we realise it or not, that shame shapes the way we experience our cycles.
So let’s talk about it: gently, honestly and hopefully.
1.) First: Menstrual Shame Isn’t Your Fault
Menstrual shame is not something you’re born with. It’s something you learn. It’s the awkwardness around buying pads. The instinct to hide a tampon up your sleeve.
The way we whisper “I’m on my period” like it’s a secret.
Even though menstruation is completely normal, it’s still treated as something embarrassing or inappropriate in many cultures and that stigma has real consequences.
Shame isn’t natural. Periods are.
2.) What Menstrual Shame Actually Looks Like
Sometimes shame is loud. But most of the time, it’s subtle. It shows up as:
- Feeling like you need to “hide” your period
- Saying “I’m just being hormonal” to minimise your emotions
- Feeling gross or unclean during bleeding
- Avoiding plans, movement, intimacy or even work because you feel uncomfortable
- Thinking your symptoms are something you should just tolerate
And the hardest part?
Many of us don’t even realise we’ve internalised these messages, because they’ve been around forever.
3. Where Does Period Shame Come From?
A lot of period shame comes from silence. From growing up with:
- Limited menstrual education
- Cultural taboos
- Jokes that frame periods as disgusting
- Healthcare systems that dismiss pain as “normal”
The United Nations has spoken openly about menstruation stigma as a human rights and public health issue — because shame impacts dignity, care, and equality.
https://www.ohchr.org/en/stories/2022/07/removing-shame-and-stigma-menstruation
Menstrual shame isn’t personal, it’s systemic.
How Shame Impacts Menstrual Health
Shame doesn’t just make periods awkward. It affects real health outcomes.
1. It makes people delay care
When periods are treated as something to endure quietly, people are less likely to seek help for symptoms like heavy bleeding or severe pain.
That delay is part of why conditions like endometriosis can take years to diagnose.
Harvard researchers have noted how better menstrual symptom tracking and openness could help reduce stigma and improve care.
https://hsph.harvard.edu/research/apple-womens-health-study/study-updates/menstrual-symptom-data-can-help-end-period-stigma/
2. It disconnects you from your body
Shame teaches you to see your cycle as a nuisance instead of information.
It creates distance where there should be trust.
3. It lowers confidence
When you feel like your body is something to hide, it becomes harder to feel grounded, capable, or safe in yourself.
A growing body of research shows stigma can harm mental wellbeing and self-esteem.
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1186/s12978-025-02255-z
How to Unlearn Menstrual Shame (With Self-Love at the Centre)
Here’s the hopeful part: Shame is learned.
Which means… It can be unlearned.
And you don’t need to overhaul your life to start. Just small, meaningful shifts.
- Start speaking about your period like it’s normal… because it is
Try saying:
- “I’m on my period.”
- “I have cramps today.”
- “My cycle affects my energy.”
Language matters. The more we name something, the less power stigma holds.
2. Stop apologising for having a body
You never need to say sorry for:
- needing rest
- carrying products
- having symptoms
- setting boundaries
Your period is not an inconvenience. It’s a biological reality.
3. Let your cycle be information, not something to push through
Self-love looks like asking:
“What do I need today?”
Not:
“How do I ignore this?”
That’s care. That’s body trust.
4. Talk to someone safe
Shame thrives in silence. Even one honest conversation with a friend, partner or clinician can make you feel less alone.
5. Remember: you deserve care that takes you seriously
Pain isn’t normal just because it’s common. Heavy bleeding isn’t normal just because people dismiss it. You deserve support the first time. Not years later.
This February, Self-Love Can Look Like This
Not roses. Not perfection.
Just this:
- Listening to your body
- Speaking without shame
- Resting without guilt
- Asking for care
- Trusting your cycle
Menstrual health is not something to hide. It’s something to honour.
Your body is worthy - every day of the month.
